Culture Shock is a term used to describe the anxiety produced when a person moves to an entirely new environment. This term expresses the lack of direction, the feeling of not knowing what to do or how to do things in a new environment, and not knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate. The sense of culture shock can usually set in after the first few weeks of arriving in a new country. It is a normal part of adjusting to new customs, language, people and activities, A person with culture shock may experience some of these symptoms: irritability, headaches or stomach aches, overly concerned with health, quickly tired, loneliness, hopelessness, distrust of hosts, withdrawal from people and activities, painful homesickness, lowered work performance.*
Moving or relocating to a new country can be very exciting but the feelings you get after the dust has settled down can be quiet confusing, I remember having mixed feelings about leaving my home country Zambia and also feeling excited about relocating to the Netherlands cause I was finally going to be in my husband s warm embrace.
When I sat on the plane, the thought of leaving my family and friends I have known and cherished my whole life lingered in my head and brought tears to my eyes, but I resisted crying cause I didn’t want the person sitting next to me to wonder what was going on. I held on tight to my then six months old son and felt better knowing that he was going to see his father for the first time since he was born
When I arrived I felt renewed and ready to take over the world, I was over the moon and was so excited to try the dutch food, go sightseeing, make new friends and learn the language as fast as possible, but as time went by my excitement was slowly melting. My husband had to go back to work, the weather was too cold, it would rain for days, and I was home with my son with barely anyone to talk to and nowhere to go. I was having a hard time making friends, and every time I went out for a walk I felt like everyone was looking at me because I was different ( which of course was just in my head ), when my husband was at work I could lock myself up, sleep half the day and just be completely hopeless, I became homesick and lost my self-esteem.
I started to notice that dutch people don’t speak to strangers just like that, not even to their neighbors, and then I started missing my Zambian culture were neighbors greet and talk to each other even when they barely knew each other. Then it hit me that I was a minority, which got to my head, and I somehow started acting like one. You see when you come from a predominantly black country where everyone is the same as you, you never have to deal with minority issues, ("like being the only black person in the room”) which is not a problem for other black people who were born and raised in the Netherlands but for me it became a big deal even though nobody was treating me different or discriminating against me, I just felt out of place, and the language barrier made it even worse, I couldn't read my mail or start a conversation, I had to rely on my husband to read and translate to me which made me feel dumb and worthless, I was dealing with issues of transitioning, independence and simultaneously trying to fit in.
After a year I slowly began to accept that this was going to be my home and it was all just in my head, so I changed my attitude towards the dutch culture, and with help from my husband I slowly started living again, I now involve my self more in dutch activities, and I at least managed to make Zambian friends and met friendly people along the way. I have embraced the change in my life, so I can now say I feel more at home; hence I walk with my head held up high knowing that despite the culture and race differences with the people around me, what binds us together is humanity. I look forward to the day I will be able to speak Dutch fluently and be able to communicate with my child in their fatherly tongue.
xoxo fran
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